This following isn’t my work, but instead the work of an incredibly woke friend of mine who asked me to create an online space for Xer articles. Enjoy
I wrote this back in February but had to delay it after attending numerous rallies against the oppression of minorities. Also I had to spend several days behind bars because the fascist police state wouldn’t agree with my stance on peacefully throwing bricks at literally Hitler Trump supporters. I tried to explain to the judge that I was aiming for their horns but he wouldn’t listen.
**Trigger warning – this review make numerous mention of the murder of virtual horses**
I was at my wife’s boyfriend’s house to help them celebrate Valentine’s Day and had just finished a nourishing kale grass on rye meal. Whilst waiting for them to finish in the bedroom I decided to take a break from playing Gone Home, which is GOTY for 2017 even if it was released 4 years ago. Although it is clearly the greatest game ever made; like seeing Islamaphobic racists thrown in prison for their tweets there is only so much joy I can take before I’m overwhelmed by emotion and have to retire to a secure location. The crayons are running dangerously low so I must maintain my composure as much as possible. I used up all the red at an anti-capitalism rally, which was an almost perfect day until the police confiscated my MacBook Pro.
The gameplay in Red Dead Redemption– if you can call it that – is very disappointing. There is frequent conflict with other characters throughout the game which could have been interesting in the hands of someone like Brianna Wu who is a master of character design and moon physics. For me the conflict in the game was an ideal opportunity to peacefully discuss my differences with the people around me, and have them throw down their guns like Marty McFly in Back to the Future 3. And then if we couldn’t agree I’d screech to have them blocked and arrested by the Twitter police, also like Marty in Back to the Future 3.
However the game insisted on throwing me into countless gunfights and violence, to almost unbearable levels. I wanted the bloodshed to end but the game would force me to keep pulling out my gun and ending lives one after another. After 30 minutes of being told to shoot yet another helpless animal I was too overwhelmed to even begin the first mission. If there is a god he’ll make sure there are mini games later in the game which let you heal animals in a circle.
I will say one positive, there are countless animals roaming free in the game so it’s suitable for vegans.
Red Dead Redemption is often praised for its story being held up as one of Rockstar’s best, even more so than Rockstar’s Table Tennis. However I’m simply baffled by this. The main character John Marston is a white male, yet at no point does he turn to the other characters and apologise for his whiteness. Apparently even small gestures like that are too much to ask for from a 2010 game in 2017. I was hoping for Mass Effect style dialogue options so I could tell other white characters in the game how oppressive they were to minorities, but alas the game would only let me play poker and lasso animals.
I have only seen a handful of black characters in the game, which is blatant racism from Rockstar. If it turns out there are more black characters but I haven’t seen them yet, then this is clearly tokenism from Rockstar and they should feel ashamed. Either way Rockstar need to educate themselves, it takes only 5 minutes to use Google and be told how white people ruin everything. Quite frankly this is the biggest white supremacy propaganda I’ve seen in a game since Mario Galaxy 2.
I’m incredibly disappointed that this western game set in 1911 America doesn’t allow me to play as a leading female, or at least a Native American. America may like to pretend that it has moved on from racism but its authentic old west stories based on the early 1900s haven’t.
Sound design is mostly okay, however unlike other GTA games Red Dead Redemption has no radio stations which I found disappointing. There’s a real opportunity to have a DLC radio station playing 24/7 chants of “not my president”.
PROS: Free range horses
CONS: Racist. Sexist. Misogynistic (there are scantily clad women prostitutes in saloons who you can’t have sex with, but you can imagine them having sex so yeah they’re basically sexual objects). Islamaphobic (none of the women are wearing a Burka). Not fun.